(Never before has a courtroom sketch so perfectly captured the essence of its subject.)
The Lodi City Correctional Center is about to get a whole lot realer, Nation.
If you recall, notorious UFC welterweight Nick Diaz — currently serving a temporary suspension for his 1000th drug test failure for marijuana back at UFC 183 — was arrested on suspicion of DUI back in September of 2014. This came following a similar arrest for driving under the influence 10 months earlier, which he plead not guilty to while presumably throwing some DMX-level shade at the presiding judge. If convicted on both charges, Diaz was looking at some serious time behind bars.
Yesterday, however, it was reported by TMZ Sports that Diaz’s lawyer had cut a deal sweeter than the Purple Urkel-Trainwreck hybrid strain that Nick was vaping at his hearing:
Diaz was facing real jail time if convicted in both cases — but struck a sweet plea deal with prosecutors in which he pled no contest to DUI with .08 or higher, and in exchange 3 charges were thrown out … including the second DUI. He was sentenced to 2 days in jail — and gets credit for 1 day served … so he’ll be a free man in no time.
In addition to the jail time, Diaz also got 3 years of informal probation and must complete a DUI educational course.
So yeah, it’s less Randy Blythe and more Paris Hilton, as far as celebrity jail sentences go.
Diaz is expected to serve out his sentence later this month after his follow-up court hearing. With any luck, we’ll be seeing him back in the cage by 2016, where he will fight Brock Lesnar in a PPV-shattering superfight, lose by unanimous decision, and then get popped for marijuana metabolites. Because Nick Diaz is like the crazy ex that the UFC just can’t help booty calling at 2 a.m. after a string of alcohol-induced bad decisions. No matter how many times he gives them VD, or steals their car, or refuses to cuddle after, they just can’t keep their hands off the goods. You know what I’m talking about…