Blogkick: Stupid MMA Quotes

After numerous articles outlining various opinions on fighters’ rankings and predictions on upcoming fights I feel like it’s time for a change of pace in the Blogkick third season. This article is a compilation of my favourite “stupid quotes” in MMA.

First on the list is Ken Shamrock. After weeks of Tito Ortiz getting the better of Shamrock throughout the first season of TUF and in the build up to their first fight Shamrock finally exploded at the pre-fight press conference with the classic:

 “I will beat you into a living death.”

This was of course made all the funnier by the fact that after a perfectly timed pause, and a noticeable snicker from Dana White in the background, Ortiz erupted into a fit of hysterical laughter.

Next up is the inimitable Mike Goldberg. It is safe to say that without much effort by way of research one could compile a Top 10 list of Goldie’s most stupid quotes. Perhaps even a top 100. But undoubtedly one of my favourites was when he said of Travis Lutter:

“He is like the Micheal Jordan of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.”

The idiocy of this was highlighted by Joe Rogan’s immediate response, “No, he’s not!” and it was further compounded  by the fact the words were uttered approximately, 3 minutes before Lutter tapped out to a triangle choke by Anderson Silva. Slam dunk, Goldie!

Next on the list, another classic example of speaking a little too soon. Pat Smith’s boast

“I am impervious to all pain!”

came shortly before he tapped out to a heel hook compliments of Ken Shamrock.

From speaking too soon, to speaking too much. The ever articulate and patriotic Tito Ortiz ever so modestly likens himself to the American troops fighting in the Middle East:

“…and while the troops are fighting overseas for our freedom, I’m here in this cage fighting for the freedom of mixed martial arts.”

Tim Silvia showed that his 6ft 8in frame was not necessarily in proportion with the size of his brain with this insightful analysis as to how he has changed as a fighter since his last fight:

“Im the oldest I’ve ever been, right now.”

And The Ultimate Fighter 2 contestant Sam Morgan demonstrated similar levels of  genius when discussing the importance of his uniqueness as a fighter with this classic:

“I’m a very unique fighter. If there were two of me I’d be unnecessary.”

Long before the thought of fighting in a cage for a living crossed Sam Morgan’s mind, Jim Brown used to commentate for the UFC. Here is one of his finer moments, fulfilling his duty in educating viewers on the intricacies of the stand up game in the early days of MMA:

“I don’t know what kind of technique was used there, but there was a lot of kicking and punching.”

Like with Mike Goldberg another MMA personality that deserves an entire archive of his own when it comes to quotes is Quinton “Rampage” Jackson. Rampage’s quotes are always funny and this one is no exception:

“When I be losing I be gettin’ my ass whupped. But when I be winnin’ I be doing the ass whuppin’!”

Finally, it would seem inappropriate to compile a list such as this and not include at least one member of the infamous Gracie family. And who better to round of the list than UFC Hall of Fame inductee, Royce Gracie. It was not one of the Brazilian’s brightest moments when he decided to thank the Japanese for allowing him to enlighten them with the martial art that his family invented:

“I want to thank you for helping me bring Jiu-Jitsu to Japan.”